WEEK 22-PGP-Article-Building Confidence Without Creating Entitlement

Every parent and grandparent wants a child to grow up believing, “I can do this.” But healthy confidence is very different from believing, “I deserve this.”

Helping children understand that difference is an important part of developing good character.

Confidence grows naturally when children accomplish something through their own effort. Learning a new skill, completing a difficult task, helping with a family responsibility, or continuing to try after making a mistake can all give children something valuable: the satisfaction of knowing they earned their accomplishment.

Parents and grandparents can encourage this by recognizing the effort behind success rather than automatically praising everything a child does. Saying, “You kept trying even when that was difficult,” or “You remembered your responsibility without being reminded,” helps children connect confidence with perseverance, responsibility, and personal growth.

Children also need to understand that being capable doesn’t mean always winning, being first, receiving praise, or getting what they want.

Family conversations can help reinforce this distinction. Ask: What are you proud of working hard to accomplish? Can you be happy when someone else succeeds? What’s the difference between earning something and expecting it? What can disappointment teach us?

These discussions help children discover that confidence and humility can—and should—grow together.

JeanieOlogy™ provides another way for parents and grandparents to explore these ideas. Through Aunt Jean’s Questions, children can express opinions, listen to others, consider different perspectives, and think about the values behind their choices.

Ultimately, healthy confidence shouldn’t come from believing the world owes us something. It should grow from knowing we can learn, contribute, overcome challenges, treat others well, and become better through effort.

Healthy confidence says, “I believe in myself.” Good character adds, “And I understand that other people matter, too.”

Teaching children both may be one of the greatest gifts we can give them.

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